try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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