I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
