I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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