Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
