Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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