i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
