I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
