:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
