Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
