I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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