used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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