what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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