Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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