yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
