i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
