Kareoke will never be a sober sport
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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