That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
