the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
