Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
