I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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