bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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