Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
