ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
