Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
