I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
