"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
