If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
