I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's blow job season.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
