Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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