phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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