It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
