Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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