Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
