Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
