that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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