I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
