I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
