I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
