He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
