You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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