i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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