How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
