Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
