he wants to bone in the snuggie
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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