Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
