and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
