We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
