You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
