I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
