So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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