I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize