It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
