Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
