And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
