She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
